I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
