I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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