is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
