no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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