I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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