Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
