Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have post one night stand depression
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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