No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
