I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
