I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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