I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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