Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
