K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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