guys are not supposed to queef...right?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
