Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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