You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
