You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
