The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Randomize
