I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize