I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
