so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
