omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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