I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
