SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
birth control should be required to get into college
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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