I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize