I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
