next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
