Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize