Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
