I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
