shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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