i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
