Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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