As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
