tell your sister to shave her snatch
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
