Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
