whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
