he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
