bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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