Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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