Fine. I'll sleep in my office
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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