I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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