Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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