My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
