I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
