Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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