last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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