I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
