the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
