Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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