i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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