That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
