Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just google imaged poop.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
