Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
