yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
