Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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